Putting the Other Person First is at the Heart of Attraction Marketing

Attraction marketing stresses the importance of putting the other person first. This may seem rather obvious, but it is not normally practiced in traditional network marketing. You may have gotten your initial training like I did in a network marketing company. You will recognize the pattern. We met in small groups on Friday evenings to get "product education". Each person featured a particular product that they particularly liked and talked about its features and their experience in selling it.This introduced me to a whole way of thinking about selling. A way that I have discovered since then to be backwards. Ann Sieg who teaches MLMers a totally different way of marketing, which she calls attraction says there is one simple overriding rule that should govern everything we do: "All good sales and marketing, begins by putting the other person first"When you think of it, it makes sense not only in marketing but in all of life. It is the key to good communication and to good relationships. In this article I want to explore what it means to put the other person first. Why this is true. And how do we actually do this in marketing. That is, what it looks like.What Does It Mean to Put the Other Person First in Attraction Marketing?First, if we understand what it does not mean, will help clarify what it does mean. It does not mean that we put the product we are trying to sell first, no matter how good it is. There is little value in talking about a great dandruff shampoo to a person who does not have dandruff. We cannot simply assume that a person needs what we have to offer.Second, it does not mean that we start talking about a network marketing opportunity, even if it is the best one in the world, if the person is not looking for a way of building their own business. Perhaps there are reasons they cannot do mlm.Third, it does not mean that we put ourselves first. This is the human tendency. We want badly to make money or may even badly need to make money. But that is beside the point to the person we are approaching.So on the positive side, what does putting the other person first mean? It means that we need to address their needs and desires. And ultimately, the only way we can know if our product or our opportunity is of value for them is to talk to them.When we sell to a target audience through the internet, we need to identify who we are targeting and then research their needs and wants. Are we targeting people who exercise and "work out"? What are their concerns. They may be concerned about dehydration, or about increased energy, or turning fat into muscle. We need to penetrate their subculture, put ourselves in their shoes, and help them solve their problems.Why Is It Critical to Put the Other Person First in Attraction Marketing?Our default mode is to think that others are like us. They want what we want. My wife sells real estate. There are people when shopping for a home who want a huge yard. Maybe they have kids. Others prefer the smallest yard possible since they do not have time to take care of it.Another reason for putting the other person first is that in getting them to talk about themselves, their likes and dislikes, their hot buttons, their passions in life, you have the possibility of tapping into their needs. You discover how you can best genuinely help them. Or you may discover that you cannot help them.The third reason for putting the other person first is that by focusing the conversation on them, they come alive. People love to talk about themselves. By encouraging them to tell you about themselves, you build a friendship. Once they have had plenty of chance to talk about themselves, they will be ready to hear what you have to say. By then, what you have to say will be that much more on target.How Does One Go About Putting the Other Person First in Attraction Marketing?We put the other person first by learning to listen attentively. First we need to be good at asking the right questions. Sometimes, it is just a good open question. What are you looking for in a home water filter? Have you had one before? What did you like or not like about it?In an initial discussion, 80% of the time should be spent in listening. If you find that you are doing most of the talking, you will know things are not going well. Part of attentive listening is listening for feelings. Then play them back to the person to see if you have captured how they feel about it. "I gather that you find this kind of cell phone overwhelming. It has too many features. Is that what I hear you saying?" This kind of mirroring makes the person realize that you are truly listening.When talking about network marketing fundamentals, putting the other person first is just one of a number that Ann Seig talks about. She gives numerous other fundamentals in her free eBook entitled, "Attraction Marketing Manifesto" as she explores what will get people coming to you for help versus you chasing after them. They come to you because you have listened first and are speaking to their real needs.